dance

Just watched a program on a ballet school in London ....
Where is the ability to record these things for my students when I need to ? NOT set up as useual , not for lack of nagging *frustrated face* .
Swan Lake is coming to Calgary in the fall , and I have dug out my music . The comfort I feel dancing to classical music is surpassed by nothing else . It just happens , there is no thought involved . Sometimes that is a bad thing because , it actually looks good and then I don't remember what the hell I did . I am sure , that I look much better in my minds eye than in reality , but I dance from pleasure . And again , life is turmiol , the need to dance is constant . Is it escape , or is it my calm - my place to deal with all of it .
I want to go , to just let the music carry me . To feel the air whip past me as I jump across the floor . to feel the amazing energy as I just hover in an attitude . I long to feel the suprise as I take a pose , only to be lifted into the air by strong hands , twirled around , and set gently back down . I want to feel light , as though i could jump into space . This is bliss .
The controle over your body is amazing , maybe that is what draws me , because I don't feel like I have any controle over what is happening with my life right now . What I want and what I think I should do are two very different things . I have always been the responsible one , doing what evertone thinks I should do . I just want to let go , to do what I want , when I want , be with whom I want , and not worry about what comes next .
Do I need courage , patience or a kick in the ass ....